– Software Testing Jokes, Quotes, Meme compiled from various sources, I do not claim any copyright –

IT world is full of forwarded mails. I have collected few jokes related to software and testing. Hope you will like them. If you have jokes on software and testing please feel free to forward it to me. I will update those here.

Testing Definition

To tell somebody that he is wrong is called criticism. To do so officially is called testing.

Tester’s Philosophy

We don’t break software; it is already broken.

A Software Tester Goes To A Bar

  • Orders one beer
  • Orders zero beer
  • Orders 999 beers
  • Orders  #ad&8d* beer
  • Orders .5 beer
  • Bring his own beer
  • Tries to sell his beer to the bar
  • Orders an empty beer bottle
  • Doesn’t order anything
  • Orders a beer every one minute
  • Tries to grab a beer from someone else

The Glass

To an optimist, the glass is half full.
To a pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To a good tester, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Signs That You’re Dating A Tester

• Your love letters get returned to you marked up with red ink, highlighting your grammar and spelling mistakes.
• When you tell him that you won’t change something he has asked you to change, he’ll offer to allow you two other flaws in exchange for correcting this one.
• When you ask him how you look in a dress, he’ll actually tell you.
• When you give him the “It’s not you, it’s me” breakup line, he’ll agree with you and give the specifics.
• He won’t help you change a broken light bulb because his job is simply to report and not to fix.
• He’ll keep bringing up old problems that you’ve since resolved just to make sure that they’re truly gone.


The ‘Height’ Of A Flagpole

A group of managers were given the assignment of measuring the height of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures and they’re struggling to get the correct measurement; dropping the tape measures and falling off the ladders.
A tester comes along and sees what they’re trying to do, walks over, pulls down the flagpole, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.
After the tester is gone, one manager turns to another and laughs, “Isn’t that just like a tester? We’re looking for the height and he gives us the length.”


Who Is Who?

A Project Manager is the one who thinks 9 women can deliver a baby in 1 month.
An Onsite Coordinator is the one who thinks 1 woman can deliver 9 babies in 1 month.
A Developer is the one who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver 1 baby.
A Marketing Manager is the one who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
A Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.
A Tester is the one who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.

Alpha and Beta Testing

ALPHA – Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for “doesn’t work.”
BETA – Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work.”

Experience Counts

There was a software tester who had an exceptional ability for finding bugs. After serving his company for many years, he happily retired. Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a bug in a multi-million-dollar application which no one in the company was able to reproduce. They tried for many days to replicate the bug but without success.

In desperation, they called on the retired software tester and after much persuasion he reluctantly took the challenge.

He came to the company and started studying the application. Within an hour, he provided the exact steps to reproduce the problem and left. The bug was then fixed.

Later, the company received a bill for $100,000.00 from the software tester for his service. The company was stunned with the exorbitant bill for such a short duration of service and demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.

The software tester responded with the itemization:

  • Bug Report: $1.00
  • Knowing where to look: $99,999.00

This post was first published in my earlier blog https://www.ajoysingha.info/software-testing-jokes (in 2012) now redirects to this page.